Dazed.

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Oct 1
  • Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
  • Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
  • Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
  • Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
  • Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
  • Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
  • An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
  • A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
  • Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
  • An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
  • A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
  • Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
  • An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
  • Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
  • Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
  • Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
  • Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
  • Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
  • A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
  • A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
  • Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
  • PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
  • Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
  • Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
  • Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
  • Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
  • Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
  • An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
  • Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
  • Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
  • Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
  • Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
  • Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
  • Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.
  • Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
  • Smaug: You had two cows but I have lain low your warriors of old.
  • Cows: The shit you go through.
  • This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
Oct 1

dogparkmayor:

Steal His Look: Chief of Ferguson Police Department

Cashmere racist suede white t-shirt - 462.56$

Versace Limited Edition pig mask - 612.40$

All-purpose steel garbage can - 14.99$

Oct 1
ahs-delrey:

Madison: I am a Millennial. Generation Y. Born between the birth of AIDS and 9/11, give or take. They call us “the Global Generation.” We are known for our entitlement and narcissism. Some say it’s because we’re the first generation where every kid gets a trophy just for showing up. Others think it’s because social media allows us to post every time we fart or have a sandwich for all the world to see. But it seems that our one defining trait is a numbness to the world, an indifference to suffering. I know I did anything I could to not feel. Sex, drugs, booze. Just take away the pain. Take away my mother and my asshole father. And the press, and all the boys I loved who wouldn’t love me back. Hell, I was gang raped, and two days later I was back in class like nothing happened. I mean, that must have hurt like hell, right? Most people never get over stuff like that, and I was, like, “Let’s go for Jamba juice.” I would give everything I have or will ever have just to feel pain again. To hurt.

ahs-delrey:

Madison: I am a Millennial. Generation Y. Born between the birth of AIDS and 9/11, give or take. They call us “the Global Generation.” We are known for our entitlement and narcissism. Some say it’s because we’re the first generation where every kid gets a trophy just for showing up. Others think it’s because social media allows us to post every time we fart or have a sandwich for all the world to see. But it seems that our one defining trait is a numbness to the world, an indifference to suffering. I know I did anything I could to not feel. Sex, drugs, booze. Just take away the pain. Take away my mother and my asshole father. And the press, and all the boys I loved who wouldn’t love me back. Hell, I was gang raped, and two days later I was back in class like nothing happened. I mean, that must have hurt like hell, right? Most people never get over stuff like that, and I was, like, “Let’s go for Jamba juice.” I would give everything I have or will ever have just to feel pain again. To hurt.

Oct 1

They say there are five stages of grief.

The first is when I wait for you to come home even though it’s 4.37am. I wait for you for a month, and I save portions for your dinner.

The second is when I break all the cups you’ve used. I tear up all the sheets you’ve slept on. I scream at the walls for not warning me.

The third is when I call and say, can we be friends? I cooked your favourite, will you come over for a last supper?

The fourth is when you say no and I finish eating five tubs of ice cream in an hour. It’s when I lay in bed and cry over the clothes you left behind.

The fifth is when I pack up all your things and mail them to her address. I paint the walls. I scrub the floors.

We burnt alive, and I was born out of the flames.

- v.g. | athelasss (via athelasss)

(Source: )

Oct 1

(Source: alexbluebonnets)

Oct 1

iraffiruse:

Frozach Submitted

Oct 1

(Source: nuclearglories)

croutoncat:

i have hit rock bottom and its only tuesday

transpondster:

José Alberto “Pepe” Mujica Cordano (Spanish pronunciation: [xoˈse muˈxika]; born 20 May 1935) has been President of Uruguay since 2010. A former urban guerrilla fighter with the Tupamaros and a member of the Broad Front coalition of left-wing parties, Mujica wasMinister of Livestock, Agriculture, and Fisheries from 2005 to 2008 and a Senator afterwards. As the candidate of the Broad Front, he won the 2009 presidential election and took office as President on 1 March 2010.

He has been described as “the world’s ‘poorest’ president”, due to his austere lifestyle and his donation of around 90 percent of his $12,000 (£7,500) monthly salary to charities that benefit poor people and small entrepreneurs. (Source: Wikipedia)

[via messynessychic]

(Source: the1975drugs)